A Victim's Assistant Speaks Out About A Stalker and Death...

STALKING IS A CRIME!

Once you’ve been a victim, you know how life-destroying stalking can be.

A Victim's Assistant speaks out about a double homicide/suicide-by-cop case. It was related to a stalking case I worked last year. My stalking victim was stalked by her ex-husband, primarily through their 3-year-old daughter. He had also done the same thing to his first wife and son (who is now 10). After the stalking conviction, he moved on to another woman. When she broke up with him in January and tried to end the relationship he began stalking her, too. Finally, he showed up at the hospital where she worked as a physical therapist on a night when he had unsupervised custody of the child (my client was with her new husband at an awards banquet 6 hours away). He had made a cassette tape of his plans the night before and carried them out in the hospital parking lot. He shot his ex-girlfriend in the face and killed her, then dragged her body to a grassy area.

Then he went to his vehicle, unbuckled his 3-year-old daughter by his 2nd wife (my stalking victim) and carried her to his ex-girlfriend's body. He placed the child on his knee and shot her in the face/head, killing her. Then he shot his ex-girlfriend again two more times and stabbed her with a knife several times. Then he kneeled between the two bodies and tried to kill himself, but the gun jammed. By then the police had arrived, so he pointed the gun at them and forced them to shoot and kill him.

All of this happened in the hospital parking lot in front of several employees. On the tape he left behind, he mentioned his plans to also kill his son from his first marriage (luckily, he could not find his son in time so he carried on without him).

The man was a firefighter/EMT. He stalked his victims through his job. He used the 911 system to obtain my victim's new unlisted phone numbers every time she changed them. He used the emergency cell phone in the ambulance to harass my victim (and probably his ex-girlfriend too). He used his job to track license plates of vehicles in my victim's driveway and would then call her and tell her who was/had been at her house. He would follow her, harass her, leave hundreds of phone messages, and stake out her home for hours on end. He would page my victim constantly, and use his daughter as his excuse for calling my victim many times each day, even when he had her that day. When He was convicted of stalking, he received two years of supervised probation and ten counseling sessions. Because he was a fireman, the judge also made his conviction eligible for expungement at the end of his probation, meaning the conviction would not exist on his record. The judge justified this by saying he wanted the defendant to keep getting promotions and pay more support for the daughter.

Charles saw his probation officer just hours before his murdering spree. This man was a classic abusive partner / stalker and had a pattern of abuse / stalking at least three women before committing these murders. He left behind many torn lives and a legacy of grief. His daughter would have turned four just four days after the murders.

Thoughts and prayers go out to all the victims in this case. I am truly sorry that this had to happen but I hope that by printing this story it brings to light some of the awful things that do happen.

If you are being stalked or are in fear of being stalked, please reach out and get the help you need, call 911 and/or your local agencies. Remember, no one deserves to be physically, sexually or emotionally abused.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Who Becomes A Stalker?

STALKING IS A CRIME!

Once you’ve been a victim, you know how life-destroying stalking can be.

Who Becomes a Stalker?

Stalkers are usually isolated and lonely, coming from the “disadvantaged” of our society; however, a stalker can occupy any place in our entire social spectrum. Often, the stalking may be triggered by a significant trauma or loss in the life of the perpetrator, usually within at least seven years of the stalking behavior. (For example, relationship dissolution or divorce, job termination, loss/potential loss of a child, or an ill parent.) Most stalkers are not psychotic. In a comparative study of psychotic versus non-psychotic stalkers (Mullen et al. 1999), 63% of the sample was found to be suffering from a common psychiatric condition, such as major depression, personality disorder, or substance dependence–with personality disorder being the most common diagnosis.

Ex-intimates: Common stalkers are people who previously shared a romantic relationship with the victim, and former intimates are the most common type of stalking target. This can be either from a long or short term relationship.

Family members: A stalker may target a member of their family, such as a parent or sibling. This would most likely be a resentful or rejected stalker, and they would target a family member they feel had rejected, humiliated, or abused them in the past.

Friends and Acquaintances: The victim may be stalked by an intimacy seeker or an incompetent suitor motivated by a desire to start a romantic relationship with the victim. The victim may be stalked by a resentful stalker, typically a neighbor, who may be involved in a disagreement with the victim about something such as noise, the location of a tree, or pets.

Workplace Contacts: In their study of stalkers, Mullen (et al) found that 23% had a professional relationship with their victim, most often a medical practitioner. Other stalkers may be supervisors, fellow employees, service providers, clients, or others who show up at the victim’s workplace. Stalking behaviors directed at the victim may include: sexual harassment, physical and sexual assaults, robberies, or even homicide. A violent workplace stalker usually has a history of poor job performance, a high rate of absenteeism, and a record of threats and confrontations with people they resent in the workplace.

Victims often do not tell their co-workers or supervisors about the person who is stalking them because they fear reprisals from the stalker or other employees, don’t think they will be believed, or feel embarrassed about the situation.

Doctors, nurses, psychologists, or other health care providers may become the targets of stalking by obsessed clients or patients. (Or the other way around) Teachers may become stalked by students. (Or the other way around.) Psychiatrists are at particular risk for being the targets of stalking because of their contact with people with psychiatric conditions.

Strangers: respond politely. These are most commonly Intimacy Seekers and Incompetent Suitors, but may also be Predatory stalkers or Resentful stalkers. These stalkers may hide their identity from their victims at first, and reveal it after stalking their victim for some time in order to get closer to them. Victims may be initially flattered when stalker approaches them and date with their stalker, after many requests. This can have the unintentional effect of encouraging the stalker, and making them believe that their love is reciprocated.

Gender: Stalkers are far more likely to be male, however, women can also become stalkers. Women are more likely to target someone they have known, usually a professional contact. Men are less likely to pursue other men, while females will often target other females. The majority of female stalkers are intimacy seekers seeking to establish relationships, whereas men show a broader range of motivations, and are more often to be seeking to restore relationships. Women are as likely to use violence as men, and there does not tend to be a difference between genders regarding the duration of a stalking. Thus, while the contexts and motives for stalking may differ between men and women, the intrusiveness of the behaviors and potential for harm does not.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Via Sexual Harassment Support.

What Can You Do If You Are Bein g Stalked?

STALKING IS A CRIME!

Once you’ve been a victim, you know how life-destroying stalking can be.

What Can You Do If You Are Bein g Stalked?

There are no easy answers to this question. First and foremost, you should always think about your safety. Here are some other things to consider:

• Report the stalking to your local law enforcement agency. While officers may not have enough evidence to arrest the stalker, it is important to develop this “official” record of the stalking behavior. If a law enforcement report is made, the information may become public.
• Some stalkers believe there are hidden messages within conversations they have with their victims that encourage them to continue the stalking. Some experts suggest that if your stalker is a former intimate partner or someone who believes you want to be in a relationship, you must be clear and firm early on about wanting to end the relationship. The longer the relationship goes on, the harder it is for the stalker to get the message that you are not interested.
• If the stalking has continued for a long time, some believe it is best for the victim to cease all communication with the stalker. Instead, let the “system” communicate with him through a law enforcement officer, probation officer, or through a protection order.
• A protection from stalking order may or may not be effective in ending the stalking. These orders may be most effective if issued when the stalking behavior first begins. They also appear to be most effective in communities where violations of the order are taken very seriously by law enforcement, prosecutors, and judges. If these situations do not apply to you, you may want to consider whether a protection order will help or hurt your situation. Call your local domestic violence/sexual assault programs in your state/county for further information and for a brochure explaining how to get a protection from stalking order.
• In some situations, further contact between the victim and the stalker, tends to encourage the stalker. Therefore, if you can, try to avoid the following:
  - mediation
  - joint therapy
  - shared custody
  - face-to-face child exchanges
  - protection orders (which will require a face-to-face hearing)
• Keep a log of all stalking behaviors, including the following (see Incident Log below):
  - date of incident
  - times and places the incidents occurred
  - description of stalking behavior
  - witnesses to the incident
• If you believe you may be in imminent danger, develop a safety plan, taking into consideration the following:
  - critical phone numbers, such as law enforcement, friends, domestic violence or sexual assault programs
  - critical phone numbers and contact information for other important people or services you may need after reaching a safe location, such as neighbors, attorneys, prosecutors, medical care, child care, or pet care
  - keep a reserve of necessities in case you have to leave your home quickly, such as a suitcase in the trunk of your car or at a friend’s house; include money, medication, toys or items important to the children
  - consider having important documents such as passports, immigration documents, birth certificates, and social security numbers readily accessible
  - alert people who may be part of your safety plan, such as law enforcement, employers, family, friends, neighbors, or security personnel
• Consider whether any of the following measures would help decrease or prevent some of the dangers connected to stalking:
  - installing solid core doors with dead bolts
  - changing locks, securing all spare keys
  - installing outside lighting
  - trimming bushes and vegetation around your residence
  - identifying locations that may be safe for you, such as police stations, residences of family/friends, local churches, or other public places
  - getting an unlisted number or, if you have financial means, using a “dummy” answering machine connected to your published phone line. The private or unlisted number can be reserved for close friends or family and the stalker may not realize you have another line
  - varying travel routes and other routines
  - limiting time walking or jogging alone
  - informing a trusted neighbor about the situation and, if possible, giving them a description or a photo of the stalker, asking them to call law enforcement if they see anything unusual
• Sexual assault and domestic violence programs may be able to provide you with additional help and information. The Stalking Resource Center can also provide you with information on stalking.

If you are in danger, call 911.

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INCIDENT LOG

Use this log to keep a record of stalking incidents.

Date:_____________________________
Time:_____________________________
Place:____________________________________________________________________________________________
Witnesses:________________________________________________________________________________________
Description:_______________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Important Phone Numbers

Crisis Hotline
Law Enforcement
Prosecutor
Prosecutor Address
Case #
Friend
Neighbor
Day Care
Emergency Healthcare

Take care and STAY SAFE!