Advocate Pens Comprehensive Guide on How to Survive Abusive Relationships

Advocate Pens Comprehensive Guide on How to Survive Abusive Relationships

Author: David Lohr; ID. Investigate Life

April 10, 2010

David Lohr has been writing about crime and criminals for over 15 years. Readers and critics alike regard Mr. Lohr as one of the most prominent crime writers of the 21st century.

According to Susan Murphy-Milano, Susan Cox Powell and Stacy Peterson are great examples of women who could have benefited from her newly released book “Time’s Up!”

“With the proliferation of deaths due to domestic violence, something has to be done, something different, and something effective,” said Murphy-Milano, a domestic violence expert.

Susan Powell, 28, went missing under suspicious circumstances from West Valley City, Utah in December 2009. Police have named Susan’s husband, Joshua Powell, a “person of interest” in the case and have said they believe he has information that could help locate her.

Stacy Peterson was 23 years old when she went missing in October 2007. When questioned by police, Stacy’s husband, Drew Peterson, 56, claimed his wife had left him. Police found no evidence suggesting she left of her own accord, and Peterson was labeled a suspect. In May 2009, Peterson was arrested for the murder of his third wife, Kathleen Savio. He is currently in jail awaiting trial in that case. Stacy Peterson remains missing, and charges in her case have not yet been filed.

Neither Powell or Peterson have been charged in connection with their missing wives’ cases

Susan Murphy-Milano’s new book, “Time’s Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,” is due to be released on April 12, 2010.

“‘Time’s Up’ guides the victim towards safety by showing them the unseen pitfalls of leaving a violent relationship and how to navigate around them,” Murphy-Milano said.

The book also has explicit details and instructions on how to fill out an “Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit,” a form Murphy-Milano created and has used throughout the years in high risk cases.

Murphy-Milano is a specialist in family violence who works nationally with domestic violence programs, law enforcement officials and prosecutors, providing technical and consulting services in domestic violence and stalking cases. She says her principal objective is to intervene “before a victim is seriously injured or killed.”

In addition to her latest book, Murphy-Milano is also the author of “Defending Our Lives” and “Moving Out, Moving On.”

“Moving Out, Moving On” is a comprehensive, step-by-step, practical guide about ending relationships.

“Defending Our Lives” covers options that are available to battered women, as well as to their families and friends.

When she’s not busy penning new books, Murphy-Milano hosts “The Susan Murphy Milano Show” and also contributes to “Time’s Up!” and “Women In Crime Ink” online. She is also preparing to participate in the new television show, “Crime Wire,” with hosts Dennis Griffin and Vito Colucci. The show will examine cases in which the investigations have left questions unanswered and possible criminal activity unexposed.

For more information on Murphy-Milano or to order one of her books, visit susanmurphymilano.com.

Ordering Information: Amazon Online; Any Bookstore nationwide, www.susanmurphymilano.com and ImaginePublicity, contact@imaginepublicity.com, 843.808.0859

Days Go By...

Shock, pain, emotional distress,
This happens to other people,
to other families, not ours….

Reality sets in,
Hate, dispair, and anger take over,
How could this happen, why did this happen?

Days go by,
Acceptance and strength are surfacing,
Drive and determination take over…

Passing along what we have learned becomes important,
It becomes the focus of each day,
To help others through where we have been…

We made it as the days have gone by,
As the years have gone by, we made it,
It’s forever with us, but it is now strength…

Days go by and it no longer rules,
We rule, we have taken our lives back,
A lot has changed as days go by…..

You took enough, you get no more…
Our lives are different, but our lives are good,
We took our lives back as days go by….

Now our purpose is to help others take theirs back,
You took enough, you get no more,
We are getting stronger as days go by…..

Our voices are coming together as one,
Can you hear us? You will,
As days go by….

Our voice is becoming stronger,
Louder, as days go by,
Our voice is to be heard….

The fear is gone,
We stand as one, strong and unwavering,
We are firm on our feet….

We are one voice, one voice that will no longer be silenced,
One voice that becomes stronger and louder,
As days go by……..

Cathy Parsons Gipson

Sandra L. Brown, M.A. - WORKSHOP, How To Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved - Durham, NC

How To Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved - Workshop with Sandra L. Brown, M.A.

What is a dangerous man? Most women would answer: one who is physically violent. But abusive behavior is often more insidious. Men who want mothers, not partners, who prey on lonely, passive women, who are mentally ill, addicted, or emotionally unavailable, or who won't go away when asked to leave all fall into this dangerous category. In this workshop attendees will learn:

• How to take responsibility for their own safety
• How to choose men wisely
• How not to make the same mistake twice
• Red flags of a dangerous man
• Stories of women's successes and failures
• Safe ways to get out of hazardous relationships
• Tools to cultivate positive and healthy relationships

When: Tuesday, October 27, 2009; 9:30am-4:00pm
Where: Durham Regional Hospital Auditorium, 3643 N. Roxboro Street, Durham, NC 27701
Seating is limited. Please register online at http://www.durhamcrisisresponse.org/ or call 919-403-9425

Ms. Brown holds a Masters Degree in Conseling. She has worked for 20 years in the field of Victimology and has provided individual and group counseling to hundreds of survivors of dangerous men. She specializes in Psychopathology which has made her exceptionally alert to the issues of dangerousness in people. Previously, she has also treated perpetrators and dangerous men. She has been a consultant to hospitals, non-profitagencies, and human service providers in Victimology. She has written books and articles on the subject of victimization and has lectured at colleges and at workshops on the subject. She designed and established residential treatment programs for abused women both through her agency and for other hospital and non-profit organizations.

Men Stopping Violence

Men Stopping Violence is a social change organization dedicated to ending men's violence against women.

Men Stopping Violence works locally, nationally, and internationally to dismantle belief systems, social structures, and institutional practices that oppress women and children and dehumanize men themselves. MSV looks to the violence against women's movement to keep the reality of the problem and the vision of the solution before us. MSV believes that all forms of oppression are interconnected. Social justice work in the areas of race, class, gender, age, and sexual orientation are all critical to ending violence against women.

Reliable data including police reports, witness statements, and emergency room reports indicate that men are the predominant aggressors in over 90% of reported battering cases.

But you don't have to hit someone to batter that person.

Many people think battering is defined by how many times a man hits a woman. In fact, many men who complete our 6-month batterers program have never physically struck a woman. What they have done, however, is struck fear in a woman by using a wide range of controlling and abusive behaviors over a sustained period of time.

These behaviors result in her feeling sometimes devastated, often degraded and always hurt. For a more complete spectrum of battering behaviors read the violent and controlling behaviors checklist (see checklist below). You may find it useful to check the behaviors you or a friend have used. It's also instructive to note how often you have used them and how the person, or people, you have used them against have been affected emotionally and physically.

Remember, she may say and do things that upset and challenge you, but she can't make you attack her. The only person who can make you do that is you. The only person who can stop you is you.

Violent and Controlling Behavior Checklist
Physical Violence
____ Slap, punch, grab, kick, choke, push, restrain, pull hair, pinch, bite
____ Rape (use of force, threats to get sex)
____ Use of weapons, throwing things, keeping weapons around which scare her
____ Abuse of furniture, things in the home, pets, destroying her things
____ Intimidation (standing in the doorway during arguments, angry or threatening gestures, use of size to intimidate, standing over her, outshouting, driving recklessly)
____ Uninvited touching
____ Threats (verbal or nonverbal, direct or indirect)
____ Harassment (uninvited visits or calls, following her around, checking up on her, embarrassing her in public, not leaving when asked)
____ Isolation (preventing or making it hard for her to see/talk to friends, relatives, others)
____ Other (please list)

Psychological and Economic Abuse
____ Yelling, swearing, being lewd, raising your voice, using angry expressions or gestures
____ Criticism (name-calling, swearing, mocking, put-downs, ridicule, accusations, blaming, use of trivializing words or gestures)
____ Pressure Tactics (rushing her to make decisions, using guilt/accusations, sulking, threatening to withhold financial support, manipulating children, abusing feelings)
____ Interrupting, changing topics, not listening, not responding, twisting her words, going on and on
____ Economic coercion (withholding money, the car, or other resources; sabotaging her attempts to work)
____ Claiming "the truth," being the authority, defining her behavior, using "logic"
____ Lying, withholding information, infidelity (having sex with others)
____ Using pornography (e.g., magazines, movies, strip shows, home videos, etc.)
____ Withholding help on childcare/housework; not doing your share or following through on your agreements
____ Emotional withholding (not expressing feelings, not giving support, validation, attention, compliments, respect for her feelings, rights, and opinions)
____ Not taking care of yourself (not asking for help or support from friends, abusing drugs or alcohol, being a "people-pleaser")
____ Other forms of manipulation (please list)

(Adapted from EMERGE, Boston, Massachusetts)


If you are a victim of abuse confidential help is at your fingertips, call 1-800-799-SAFE. The National Coaltion Against Domestic Violence is there for you 7 days a week, 24-hours a day.

TOSS UP, WIFE VS. MISTRESS; MURDER THE WIFE........

Pa. man gets life for wife's murder in swimming pool

The Associated Press, September 25, 2009

LANCASTER, Pa. - A central Pennsylvania funeral director has been sentenced to life in prison for murdering his wife.

Michael Roseboro was sentenced Friday in Lancaster County Court for killing his wife in the swimming pool behind their Reinholds home in July 2008.

The 42-year-old Roseboro had been director of his family's funeral business. He was convicted of first-degree murder two months ago.

Authorities say he wanted to be with his mistress without a messy divorce.

Before Judge James Cullen imposed the mandatory life sentence, Roseboro said he disagreed with the jury's verdict.

District Attorney Craig Stedman described the murder of Jan Roseboro, a 45-year-old mother of four children, as "selfish and senseless."



Michael Roseboro met his mistress, Angela Funk on May 29, 2008 with more than 200 emails exchanged back and forth between them up until Funk's computer from work was seized and emails were retrieved from the hard drive. Angela attempted to remove/delete the emails (more than 200) - about 100 of the emails were distributed to the jury during the trial, the last email dated June 30, 2008 read, (Funk to Roseboro); "I promise to love you and your children for the rest of my life, I have so much love to give." The emails between Funk and Roseboro indicated specific wedding plans and some were very graphic and one may find them offensive.

On the night of July 22, 2008, Roseboro murdered his wife Jan. The number one aggravating factor being - "The murder was especially heinous, atrocious, cruel or depraved (or involved torture)." Roseboro killed his wife and mother of his children in a cruel, brutal fashion while three of the children were in the house less than 25 feet away. Roseboro beat and drown Jan, his greed ruled. The final neighbor testified that she was home the night of the murder. Around 10:30 p.m. she "heard a female scream from the back pool area of the Roseboro's." Another neighbor testified that Michael Roseboro was "cleaning the pool early the morning after the murder." Other neighbors testified that they couldn't have seen anything happening at the rear of the Roseboro house, in the pool area, which is where Jan Roseboro was found, face down in the pool. The evidence just kept piling up and adding up - enough for the jury to convict this poor excuse for a man to be convicted of first-degree murder.

Roseboro earned about $400,000 a year at his funeral home and he wanted to keep his income, his four children and his girlfriend. The only way Roseboro could do all of this was to "get rid of his wife". Evidence and testimony revealed that there was an affair and that Roseboro and Funk had sex for several hours the day Jan Roseboro was killed. The affair also resulted in Funk having Roseboro's baby.

Roseboro has no remorse. He is greedy and a coward. He had a huge secret, assets and a lot of money at stake to be lost in a divorce. Roseboro flipped a coin and did what every cowardly man does - kills his wife. ROSEBORO CHOSE MURDER OVER DIVORCE.

The only thing Roseboro is sorry for is that he got caught. He doesn't care that his children no longer have their Mother. These innocent children suffered and will continue to suffer because of two vain and selfish people (Roseboro and Funk). Roseboro will never apologize as that would be an admission of guilt.

Regarding the sentence......Why didn't DA Stedman go for the death penalty with 18 agrravating factors? Sentence handed down........."LIFE WITH NO PAROLE"

Roseboro was obsessed with another married woman - Angela Funk. He called Funk 57 times in one day. Roseboro wasn't just obsessed with another woman that drove him to kill his wife. The autopsy report revealed that Jan was strangled, beat severely, kicked, punched and then thrown into the family pool.

In my opinion and experience, Jan's death wasn't the first time that she was on the receiving end of Roseboro's temper and/or fist - it is not common for domestic violence to begin with death. Jan was an upscale woman, perhaps she kept silent of any type of abuse for the sake of her husband's community reputation, her family or threats by Roseboro. We will never know. We do know that Roseboro simply wanted it all, at the expense of his wife's life.



Take care and STAY SAFE!
Anny Jacoby
A Success Survivor
"Raising female awareness and skills to reduce susceptibility in response to violence."
www.annyjacoby.com
www.realisticfemaleselfdefense.com

If you are in an abusive relationship, you need a plan.
Moving Out, Moving On; authored by Susan Murphy-Milano will guide you through the necessary steps of ending a relationship safely.
You can purchase your copy HERE.

For scheduling training, appearances or speaking engagements for Anny, please contact ImaginePublicity.

contact@ImaginePublicity.com