Picking up the pieces after rape/sexual assault can be the most challenging and difficult process to recovery. In a blink of an eye one's beliefs are shattered, one's bodily integrity and security is destroyed and you will question most intimate relationships. In spite of all, your life will continue - it's up to you to put the pieces back together. As much as you want to forget the whole ordeal, "it" has become part of you. Your response must be to take care of yourself as how you respond will have a major impact on the rest of your life. How do you get through the process of recovery? Healing is a continual process and journey. You must attempt to reach a point in which you can express your feelings, live with the memories of your experience and integrate them into who you are in a way that you can acknowledge and accept.
It's not possible to "heal" from a rape/sexual assault in the traditional sense of healing. It's not like a fractured bone; set it, cast it and the bone heals. Recovery from rape is more like being cut, a deep cut that requires stitches inside and out. As the cut goes through the healing stages it becomes less visible as layers of skin grow over it, but you will always see the scar. Personally I feel that the word "healing" is far from adequate when dealing with sexual assault. The word "healing" indicates false assumptions and expectations that survivors will be able to put the trauma completely behind them someday. A victim is ashamed, even though IT WASN'T HER FAULT. A victim feels a personal weakness that prohibits "healing". The recovery process after any kind of traumatic abuse and/or assault means that you must accept that you have had an experience that you will carry with you. Through the pain of acceptance you will learn so much about yourself. It can be a reference point for you as you face future challenges.
No two people react the same to a sexual assault, no two people recover or heal in the same manner. If your reaction is different, there is nothing wrong with you. Every individual reacts and responds differently when we experience terror and powerlessness.
There are many common reactions to sexual assault and normal. Many survivors have found it helpful to talk to rape crisis counselors. Counselors are trained to listen and they understand the many feelings that are part of Rape Trauma Syndrome. They will try to help you think through your feelings in the way that is best for you.
Take care and STAY SAFE!Anny Jacoby
A Success Survivor
The Realistic Female Self-Defense Company
"Raising female awareness and skills to reduce susceptibility in response to violence."
www.annyjacoby.com
www.realisticfemaleselfdefense.com
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