Men Stopping Violence

Men Stopping Violence is a social change organization dedicated to ending men's violence against women.

Men Stopping Violence works locally, nationally, and internationally to dismantle belief systems, social structures, and institutional practices that oppress women and children and dehumanize men themselves. MSV looks to the violence against women's movement to keep the reality of the problem and the vision of the solution before us. MSV believes that all forms of oppression are interconnected. Social justice work in the areas of race, class, gender, age, and sexual orientation are all critical to ending violence against women.

Reliable data including police reports, witness statements, and emergency room reports indicate that men are the predominant aggressors in over 90% of reported battering cases.

But you don't have to hit someone to batter that person.

Many people think battering is defined by how many times a man hits a woman. In fact, many men who complete our 6-month batterers program have never physically struck a woman. What they have done, however, is struck fear in a woman by using a wide range of controlling and abusive behaviors over a sustained period of time.

These behaviors result in her feeling sometimes devastated, often degraded and always hurt. For a more complete spectrum of battering behaviors read the violent and controlling behaviors checklist (see checklist below). You may find it useful to check the behaviors you or a friend have used. It's also instructive to note how often you have used them and how the person, or people, you have used them against have been affected emotionally and physically.

Remember, she may say and do things that upset and challenge you, but she can't make you attack her. The only person who can make you do that is you. The only person who can stop you is you.

Violent and Controlling Behavior Checklist
Physical Violence
____ Slap, punch, grab, kick, choke, push, restrain, pull hair, pinch, bite
____ Rape (use of force, threats to get sex)
____ Use of weapons, throwing things, keeping weapons around which scare her
____ Abuse of furniture, things in the home, pets, destroying her things
____ Intimidation (standing in the doorway during arguments, angry or threatening gestures, use of size to intimidate, standing over her, outshouting, driving recklessly)
____ Uninvited touching
____ Threats (verbal or nonverbal, direct or indirect)
____ Harassment (uninvited visits or calls, following her around, checking up on her, embarrassing her in public, not leaving when asked)
____ Isolation (preventing or making it hard for her to see/talk to friends, relatives, others)
____ Other (please list)

Psychological and Economic Abuse
____ Yelling, swearing, being lewd, raising your voice, using angry expressions or gestures
____ Criticism (name-calling, swearing, mocking, put-downs, ridicule, accusations, blaming, use of trivializing words or gestures)
____ Pressure Tactics (rushing her to make decisions, using guilt/accusations, sulking, threatening to withhold financial support, manipulating children, abusing feelings)
____ Interrupting, changing topics, not listening, not responding, twisting her words, going on and on
____ Economic coercion (withholding money, the car, or other resources; sabotaging her attempts to work)
____ Claiming "the truth," being the authority, defining her behavior, using "logic"
____ Lying, withholding information, infidelity (having sex with others)
____ Using pornography (e.g., magazines, movies, strip shows, home videos, etc.)
____ Withholding help on childcare/housework; not doing your share or following through on your agreements
____ Emotional withholding (not expressing feelings, not giving support, validation, attention, compliments, respect for her feelings, rights, and opinions)
____ Not taking care of yourself (not asking for help or support from friends, abusing drugs or alcohol, being a "people-pleaser")
____ Other forms of manipulation (please list)

(Adapted from EMERGE, Boston, Massachusetts)


If you are a victim of abuse confidential help is at your fingertips, call 1-800-799-SAFE. The National Coaltion Against Domestic Violence is there for you 7 days a week, 24-hours a day.

TOSS UP, WIFE VS. MISTRESS; MURDER THE WIFE........

Pa. man gets life for wife's murder in swimming pool

The Associated Press, September 25, 2009

LANCASTER, Pa. - A central Pennsylvania funeral director has been sentenced to life in prison for murdering his wife.

Michael Roseboro was sentenced Friday in Lancaster County Court for killing his wife in the swimming pool behind their Reinholds home in July 2008.

The 42-year-old Roseboro had been director of his family's funeral business. He was convicted of first-degree murder two months ago.

Authorities say he wanted to be with his mistress without a messy divorce.

Before Judge James Cullen imposed the mandatory life sentence, Roseboro said he disagreed with the jury's verdict.

District Attorney Craig Stedman described the murder of Jan Roseboro, a 45-year-old mother of four children, as "selfish and senseless."



Michael Roseboro met his mistress, Angela Funk on May 29, 2008 with more than 200 emails exchanged back and forth between them up until Funk's computer from work was seized and emails were retrieved from the hard drive. Angela attempted to remove/delete the emails (more than 200) - about 100 of the emails were distributed to the jury during the trial, the last email dated June 30, 2008 read, (Funk to Roseboro); "I promise to love you and your children for the rest of my life, I have so much love to give." The emails between Funk and Roseboro indicated specific wedding plans and some were very graphic and one may find them offensive.

On the night of July 22, 2008, Roseboro murdered his wife Jan. The number one aggravating factor being - "The murder was especially heinous, atrocious, cruel or depraved (or involved torture)." Roseboro killed his wife and mother of his children in a cruel, brutal fashion while three of the children were in the house less than 25 feet away. Roseboro beat and drown Jan, his greed ruled. The final neighbor testified that she was home the night of the murder. Around 10:30 p.m. she "heard a female scream from the back pool area of the Roseboro's." Another neighbor testified that Michael Roseboro was "cleaning the pool early the morning after the murder." Other neighbors testified that they couldn't have seen anything happening at the rear of the Roseboro house, in the pool area, which is where Jan Roseboro was found, face down in the pool. The evidence just kept piling up and adding up - enough for the jury to convict this poor excuse for a man to be convicted of first-degree murder.

Roseboro earned about $400,000 a year at his funeral home and he wanted to keep his income, his four children and his girlfriend. The only way Roseboro could do all of this was to "get rid of his wife". Evidence and testimony revealed that there was an affair and that Roseboro and Funk had sex for several hours the day Jan Roseboro was killed. The affair also resulted in Funk having Roseboro's baby.

Roseboro has no remorse. He is greedy and a coward. He had a huge secret, assets and a lot of money at stake to be lost in a divorce. Roseboro flipped a coin and did what every cowardly man does - kills his wife. ROSEBORO CHOSE MURDER OVER DIVORCE.

The only thing Roseboro is sorry for is that he got caught. He doesn't care that his children no longer have their Mother. These innocent children suffered and will continue to suffer because of two vain and selfish people (Roseboro and Funk). Roseboro will never apologize as that would be an admission of guilt.

Regarding the sentence......Why didn't DA Stedman go for the death penalty with 18 agrravating factors? Sentence handed down........."LIFE WITH NO PAROLE"

Roseboro was obsessed with another married woman - Angela Funk. He called Funk 57 times in one day. Roseboro wasn't just obsessed with another woman that drove him to kill his wife. The autopsy report revealed that Jan was strangled, beat severely, kicked, punched and then thrown into the family pool.

In my opinion and experience, Jan's death wasn't the first time that she was on the receiving end of Roseboro's temper and/or fist - it is not common for domestic violence to begin with death. Jan was an upscale woman, perhaps she kept silent of any type of abuse for the sake of her husband's community reputation, her family or threats by Roseboro. We will never know. We do know that Roseboro simply wanted it all, at the expense of his wife's life.



Take care and STAY SAFE!
Anny Jacoby
A Success Survivor
"Raising female awareness and skills to reduce susceptibility in response to violence."
www.annyjacoby.com
www.realisticfemaleselfdefense.com

If you are in an abusive relationship, you need a plan.
Moving Out, Moving On; authored by Susan Murphy-Milano will guide you through the necessary steps of ending a relationship safely.
You can purchase your copy HERE.

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