I thought it would never happen to me...

BY BETHANY CORBIN, GUEST COLUMN:

CHAPEL HILL NEWS - JANUARY 27TH, 2010

I thought it would never happen to me. Throughout my life I had heard stories on the news about escalating relationship violence and always pitied the victims. How did these women become entangled in such dangerous situations? Shouldn't they have seen the warning signs?

I thought these women were naïve and that if I was careful I would never find myself in a similar situation. I was wrong. On April 28, 2009, I was assaulted on the UNC campus by someone I once dated in a well lit and populated area. I was petrified, unable to think, and consumed with fear. Frantically, I begged a bystander to walk me back to my dorm, but when he returned, the bystander just stood there and watched him push me, never offering to intervene.

What gave this man the right to put his hands on me? I was angered, upset and scared out of my mind. However, once I suddenly remembered that I knew how to defend myself, I was overwhelmed with confidence and able to push past the fear, safely escaping the situation.

Unfortunately, many women do not know how to recognize the warning signs of abusive relationships and stay with their partner until it is too late. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence reports that one in four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime, and that one in six women will experience an attempted or complete rape. In North Carolina alone, the State Bureau of Investigation reported approximately 2,239 rapes for 2008. Twenty-five percent of those rapes involved victims between the ages of 16 and 20, and 21.5 percent involved victims ages 11 to 15. Unfortunately, as women, the odds are against us. It is extremely likely that someone we know and love will be affected by domestic violence.

Now, eight months after my assault, I have founded a new program, Project Safe Girls, which offers personal safety and self-defense classes for any female between the ages of 5 and 23. Project Safe Girls is an official division of The Realistic Female Self Defense Company and educates women about domestic violence, dating violence, stalking, sexual assault, abduction, healthy relationships, physical self-defense, and more. Project Safe Girls specifically tailors the curriculum to each age group and offers an invaluable experience that will empower females of all ages.

The first portion of the program focuses on safety awareness and prevention. When most females hear the term self-defense, they often assume we are only addressing the physical aspect. Although physical self-defense can be necessary, and is taught in this program, self-defense begins way before any punches are thrown. Anny Jacoby, owner and CEO of The Realistic Female Self-Defense Company, explains, "Fighting back is not about staying in the ring and going ten rounds. We fight males with knowledge, not with strength; and knowledge is a powerful tool. But you must know what your tools (mentally and physically) are and how to effectively use them." After attending a training session, females will feel more confident in their abilities to remain safe and protect their loved ones.

Beginning Jan. 11, Project Safe Girls began operating as part of the Chapel Hill-Carrboro YMCA's afterschool program for fifth- through eighth- grade girls. In addition to the upcoming YMCA program, Project Safe Girls will travel nationwide to offer training to women in all communities of the United States. The first local training in Chapel Hill will be held this Saturday and is open to all females interested in acquiring the basic life skill of safety.

For more information, or to register for training, please visit www.projectsafegirls.com or e-mail me at bethany@projectsafegirls.com