Helping a Stalking Victim or Yourself If You are a Victim......

Often when victimization occurs a victim is so overwhelmed emotionally, mentally and physically that it's difficult to sort and prioritize. This is common - as the life the you once knew has now been turned up-side-down. You feel like a deer in headlights and not quite sure which way to go or even where to go for assistance or help. This is normal - as reassurance, there are agencies and counselors available to you that will assist you, 24/7. You are never alone.

Always keep in mind that STALKING IS A CRIME and don't ever take it for granted. Don't brush it aside, rather know the warning signs and heed to your intuition. Remember, your intuition is your best friend.

Many females know their stalker personally and as a result, are hesitant to believe that the situation is potentially dangerous. Being aware of these alarming signals can help you determine if you are being stalked and what to do about it.

1. Lurking around your workplace or your neighborhood.

2. Being watched.

3. Repeated phone calls.

4. Inappropriate gifts.

5. Finding yourself in the position of needing to be rescued.

6. Manipulation.

7. Internet stalking.

8. Defamation of character or insults.

9. Violence.

10. Cumulative unwanted contact of any kind.

Helping a stalking victim or yourself if you are being stalked:

• Provide support and validation because threatening and harassing behavior alone, without accompanying violence are often minimized or discounted.

• Remind the victim to check out the applicable state anti-stalking statues.

• Help the victim to develop a paper trail documenting evidence of stalking. Caller ID records, logs of phone calls, copies of threatening letters, pictures of injuries, or of the stalker sitting outside the home, are examples of evidence that may help build a case.

• Inform law enforcement officials about the stalking and provide them with this evidence to support a case. If law enforcement officials refuse to conduct an investigation, consider contacting the prosecuting attorney's office, or a local victim assistance agency. A victim may be eligible to obtain a restraining or protective order.

• Remember, even restraining orders do not always prevent stalking from escalating into violence. Develop a safety plan. Inform friends, neighbors, and co-workers about the situation. Show them a photo of the stalker, better yet - give them all pertinent information about your stalker with a photo.

• Consider, obtaining an unlisted phone number for private use, and set up an answering machine to receive calls to the published number.

• Have easy access to a reserve set of: money, credit cards, medication, important papers, keys, and other valuables in case you need to leave quickly. Have a safe place in mind that you can go in an emergency.

• Keep the phone numbers of assistance agencies easily accessible.

• Try not to travel alone and always vary your routes. Always carry a cell phone with you.

Take care and STAY SAFE!