Erin Weed-Women's Safety Manifesto......Thank You Erin!

Women’s Safety Manifesto – Part 1-September 23, 2009

Filed Under Erin Weed's Blog, Safety & Self-Defense

According to Wikipedia, a manifesto is a public declaration of principles and intentions. I intend to do just that, as well as make suggestions on how to fix our damaged state of women’s safety education in the United States today.

My name is Erin Weed, and I’m the founder of Girls Fight Back and CEO of Fight Back Productions. We are a personal safety education company that teaches ordinary people they are capable of extraordinary things in the face of violence. I plunged unexpectedly into the anti-violence movement in the aftermath of my life’s greatest tragedy, the murder of Shannon McNamara, in 2001. For the past 8 years, I’ve been researching, training, writing, speaking, fighting and educating myself and others to become our own best protectors. While that may sound noble, I’m actually writing this manifesto because I’d like to apologize. Because we, the personal safety and self-defense community, have failed you.

• To every woman who ever walked down a city street and looked over her shoulder with fear, and had no action plan if someone was to emerge from the shadows…
• To every teen girl who experienced unwanted or forced sex because she didn’t understand the word “NO” is her right (and also a complete sentence)…
• To every man who has loved a survivor of violence, and awakens in the night to her crying softly, hoping he doesn’t hear…
• To the woman I saw on Oprah today who was the recipient of our country’s first ever face transplant because her husband blew off her face with a shotgun…
• To that woman’s daughter, who had to explain to Mom that falling back into the arms of the man who permanently disfigured and nearly killed her probably wasn’t such a good idea…
• To the women who will never bother to read this because violent things don’t happen in your neighborhood…

To all of you, I’m sorry on behalf of the movement. We don’t offer enough personal safety education, at an early enough age. I’m sorry no one ever taught you how to set boundaries as a pre-teen. There are still child safety ‘experts’ preaching concepts like stranger danger, despite the fact the most likely person to molest a child is someone they know. There aren’t enough reputable self-defense classes available, and virtually no network by which you can find the good ones. Or sometimes you find a great class, but are forced to choose between paying your rent or learning to fight that month. (Rent usually wins.) I apologize we haven’t integrated life saving self-defense education in schools yet, despite useful classes like algebra (sarcasm) being mandatory to graduate. Most self-defense instructors don’t market safety training in a way you can stomach, because we’re so hung up on visual martial arts symbolism like dragons and tigers. (Both of which can eat people, by the way - scary.) I’m sorry you aren’t validated more often that your intuition is correct, without needing to prove it. I wish you were told just how powerful you really are when basic physical techniques merge with an adrenaline dump, instead of being told you’re doing the step-by-step of a pinning situation escape incorrectly.

In Spring 2009 I conducted an anonymous, online survey asking everyday women of all ages, races and geographic locations about their personal safety and self-defense education. It was their responses that spawned this manifesto, after months of their honest and sometimes haunting answers marinating in my brain. I feel it is time to make some declarations about the state of female safety education in this country, or lack thereof. Because of the 136 women who filled out my survey, 64 responded YES to the following question:

Have you ever experienced any sort of crime or assault?

Did you do the math? That’s nearly HALF the respondents who said yes, admitting they have endured a violent act in their lifetime. And given that 86% of the respondents are under age 40, this is not a long lifetime we’re talking about. HALF. Actually, let’s assume it’s more than half since experts say many survivors cannot (or will not) label certain painful life experiences as the crimes they are. It just hurts too much. HALF. I’m sorry, but I can’t get out of my head that every party I’ve ever walked into, half the women sipping martinis in their little black dresses know this pain. Half of the 500,000 people I’ve spoken to in my seminars over the past 8 years understood the violence I spoke of all too well. Sometimes I could see it in their eyes, but many hide their suffering expertly.

So let’s hypothesize, based on my un-scientific survey, that half our female population has endured violence in some form or another. After the blood is gone and the wounds are physically healed, does it still leave a mark in other ways? According to the World Health Organization (2002), victims of sexual assault are:

• 3 times more likely to suffer from depression.
• 6 times more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder.
• 13 times more likely to abuse alcohol.
• 26 times more likely to abuse drugs.
• 4 times more likely to contemplate suicide.

These shocking statistics beg the question: What greatness have we missed out on from these women? What precious gems of contribution to our society have we been deprived of, all stemming from violence? I suppose we will never know. What I do know is more must be done to eradicate this culture of violence and victimization. Because seriously…HALF? Something is very broken here.

I will admit, there are days when I wish I was the CEO of a company more simple in nature. There’s a great soap store in Boulder that I covet to own, because it seems like a pretty carefree operation to run. What’s a tough decision for that store manager? Lavender or Patchouli? But then I think of this quotation by Hillary Rodham Clinton:

“I’ve often thought that when something is hard for you, whether it’s going to law school or anything else that challenges you, that’s probably what you should do.”

Women’s Safety Manifesto, Part 2 – Coming soon…

Thank you Erin for your major contribution, for taking a stance, being a true voice in Advocacy and all that you do to educate our females. I commend you.



Take care and STAY SAFE!
Anny Jacoby
A Success Survivor
"Raising female awareness and skills to reduce susceptibility in response to violence."
www.annyjacoby.com
www.realisticfemaleselfdefense.com

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